9. Nightmares

WARNING: What you are about to read can be taken as frightening and is known to cause nightmares.

I just walked from my roommate's car to our apartment, and on the way I felt something soft by my foot. I commented that it felt like a cat or maybe it was a furby. What the hell is a furby? I mean really? I'm not sure I understand where they were going with that. I even had a friend who collected them, and in my opinion, is worse than collecting clowns. Sorry Candace.

I mean, look at the freaking thing.

Tell me that's not creepy...

Well, I would like to tell you a short story. There was once a little girl who loved scary movies, and so the young girl thought she was mature enough for Gremlins.

WRONG.

She was not. Immediately after watching the film, she had a year filled with nightmares of small, irritatingly ugly gremlins tormenting her and visions of small rolling balls of terror chasing her. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Look at this thing.

I don't care who you are, that's disturbing.

Look, this one's posting a blog.

And then there was the cute one. Not. Still creepy.

This horrifying film caused the poor little girl to fear the depths underneath her bed and the moments before getting in bed so much that she had to run and jump from the hallway to remain safe from the scary gremlins that threatened her life.

Well don't worry, she was fine. Nothing 'now I lay me down to sleep' couldn't fix.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

I still have it memorized. I mean she, she does.

The End.